Gelial's Blurbs

So it’s been what? Some months now since I’ve really posted anything here. I don’t really have an excuse for that, except that right now I’m just playing a lot of Xbox 360. And I mean A LOT. For all those fans out there, I truly recommend Left 4 Dead, it’s fucking awesome!

Guess I should start by explaining the actual title of the post. “Aiming for perfection, in the lowest form possible…” This was actually a very accurate description that my friend Olman gave to me when I told him not only my “New Years” resolution, but pretty much my “Life’s resolution”.

I’ve grown weary and tired of the fucked up relationships I always tend to have, I either attract the psycho type, or the drama queens, or just the plain epitome of emo (in my point of view). Now, don’t get me wrong here. I fuck up a lot also in this relationships, I’m not perfect in any way. I just see things a whole lot different than all of them. And let’s face it, I’m a real stubborn fucker. Do I find that bad? Not really. I’m comfortable with who I am, and no. It’s not a comfort zone.

Most people in this world, believe that they need to have someone with them to hold, to kiss, and all those things that people do in relationships for each other, so that other person doesn’t think you don’t care for them anymore. Now, I understand that a relationship is all about that (to some extent) that you have to be affectionate with that other person, however there’s other forms of achieving the same result, without falling into unnecessary socialist factors that have been implied by everybody else. I really don’t see the point of saying “I love you” each day, just so that other person doesn’t start to deviate that you’re cheating, or having some sort of weird orgy… then again, it’s only a personal opinion. And one that I truly go for.

Me personally, when I would venture in a relationship with a person, I would try to see how they behave among others, how they feel, think, express themselves, any sort of artistic or human spark. I was a firm believer of the “love them for who they are inside”. Seeing that this formula has not really worked for me, and only attracted the wrong type of persons for me (notice that I said “for me”, I’m in no way stating that these people are bad themselves. Again, I’m a strange machine).

Therefore, I’ve decided to change that a little bit, going against the current in the most idiotic way possible. Yes, you guessed it, I’ll now only look for the “hottest” girl possible. That’s really not a problem for me, I can have it and I will.

Now, since I know this is completely bat-shit and far fetched, I’ve set my self a standard for that girl. If whoever I meet doesn’t fit that mold, I’ll not care who attractive they are. It’s not going to happen. The standard is her:

Le Standard

No, I’m not wasted. And yes, I am serious here. I’ve decided to go for such a high goal, because I know that it’ll be hard to achieve. This will allow me to concentrate in the better things in life, such as (but not limited to): My school, work, friends and myself. If, for whatever reason I do find a person like that, I’ll go for the chance, having in mind of course that this person could be a complete vain and empty soul. However, if the odds are all the opposite, and this person tends to have all of what I’m actually looking for, I will state this in a form that Quagmire will suit better:

Jackpot!

I’ve came to this insane conclusion after some reasoning. There has to be a middle point between “Formula A” and “Formula B”. I’m going to find that middle point. Stop wasting my time and the time of the other person. If this isn’t going to take us anywhere. Sure, we’ll have fun in the beginning. Most likely the sex will be awesome. But at the end we will end up muddy and unsatisfied, with second thoughts and all. I don’t like it when people waste my time, don’t see why I shouldn’t do the same for them.

No, I’m not going to become “celibate” with this, I said I wasn’t going to engage in a “serious” relationship. One night stands and fucks are very welcomed. Just don’t have your hopes up that I’m actually considering you as something special. I will make sure to clearly specify this before anything happens. To avoid any confusion of such nature.

Now, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this right now, most likely you must be feeling offended, or thinking “Who does this fuck think he is to ask so much!” My answer to you, would be simple: I only deserve the best. Yes, I’m a complete egomaniac and narcissistic asshole. And I love it! I will not be settling for anything less.

With this, I think I give a really good explanation of what I try to mean with the title of this post. I’m aiming for perfection in the lowest form possible: Beauty. In this experience to come, I’ll be actually learning something out of it, maybe even become a genius at some point.

Another aspect in those relationships that just made me take this decision, is that in all of them I’ve felt like I’m in some sort of incestuous romance with my sister or something. Why do I make that expression? Because if you fuck up for whatever reason with them (either your fault or the other party’s) everybody you know is going to look at you weird or blame you in some sort of way. Why? Because everybody knows her. You can’t do anything wrong or have any sort of fight because she’ll end up yapping about it with everybody both of you have in common. And they’ll start judging you like if they knew better. WTF?! It’s your relationship, you fix it. No need to be crying about it with everybody else.

That’s why I’ve also taken the decision that my next serious thing is going to be someone that nobody knows. And that actually knows how to take a correct course of action if something goes wrong.

I also call it incestuous because everybody seems to fuck everybody in that little (or big) group of friends or people you have in common. She either made out, slept with or dated someone you already know. Then, when all three of you are in a room, you’ll have that awkward moment of silence/vibe, and the thought of “We all fucked her… dam” will be in your head. Don’t need that really.

Love for me is so much different as it is for the rest. I don’t grow attach to anybody easily, and as fast as that happened, I can detach. This doesn’t hurt me one bit, not recently anyway. At some point I was the emotional type, nowadays I’ve taken pride in being who I am. This doesn’t mean I actually enjoy making other people miserable, I do find that extremely unnecessary and pointless. I do take other peoples emotions into question. The difference is that I won’t stop in doing what I’ll do, if I find that my objective and/or idea is necessary and correct. Before I do though, I would of taken into consideration all the possible ways it will end. I know that I’m wrong in this aspect of belief, but I’m yet to find a way around it that will work the same way.

With this said, I say goodbye to you, but not forever. I’ll at some point return here with more ideas, and hopefully a refresher of what has been happening. If available, an update on this idea of mine.

I’m not declining though, that I might drop this at some point, nothing is set in stone. I will however be cautious about it.

Thanks for your time.